Dating advice from the Millionaire Matchmaker, a book review

Patti Stanger reveals how to “Become Your Own Matchmaker”

By now you’ve probably realized you’re not going to find true love by sitting on your couch every night. What you need is an action plan, and that’s what you’ll get in this practical guide to dating, Become Your Own Matchmaker by Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger.

Her dating advice breaks down the process of looking for love into eight easy steps. You’ll learn where to find a date whether you’re looking for a millionaire or a regular joe, how to tell if you’ve got the right match, and how to get a proposal.

While Become Your Own Matchmaker is geared towards women, men can also learn how to pursue a woman and capture her heart.

patti stanger quote

Patti Stanger’s best advice on looking for love

Patti Stanger is a third generation matchmaker and the founder of the prestigious Millionaire’s Club. Through her many years of matchmaking she’s learned what men are looking for in a potential spouse and also what they don’t want. The book is full of tips for finding love with the right man and closing the deal.

In true Patti Stanger style, she doesn’t sugarcoat anything, giving you the good, the bad and the ugly truth about dating. You may not be receptive to all of her love advice, but she promises if you follow her eight easy steps you’ll be in a committed, monogamous relationship within a year. You’ll also be entertained as you read this step-by-step manual.

patti stanger monogamy quote

The Millionaire Matchmaker’s eight steps of dating

Love advice to be successful in the dating world

  1. patti stanger love quoteDating detox. This is the time to take a break from dating, pamper yourself and get into a happy place mentally.
  2. Mirror, mirror. Does the outside match the inside? Make sure your hair, clothes and makeup are flattering, and that you’re taking care of yourself through good nutrition and exercise. You’ll feel sexier and more confident.
  3. Make your own matchmaking map. Divide your dating efforts into three areas: online dating, personal referrals from people you know, getting out and about.
  4. Qualifying the buyer. Is he the one? Don’t waste your time with Mr. Wrong. How to tell if your guy is a keeper or if you should release him back into the wild.
  5. Adventures in dating. Have some ideas prepared for things you’d like to do on dates and also for light topics of conversation. Certain topics are date killers and should be avoided.
  6. First days of infatuation. The four phases of a relationship are outlined here. Honeymoon: The initial attraction. If the attraction goes beyond the physical, you’ll move into the next phase. Discern and decide: In this phase you look at each other objectively to determine if you’re going to be compatible in the long run. If not, this is the easiest time to end the relationship. Negotiation to engagement: By this time you should be thinking about building a life together. You should have met each other’s families and a proposal should be forthcoming. Engagement: Once you’re engaged, great! Now the work begins to prepare for the marriage which you hope will last a lifetime. Premarital counseling will help.
  7. Relationship reality check. You should both be deciding if you can live with each other’s faults. You should also both be trying to please the other. True love is about caring for the other person and not just thinking about what he can do for you.
  8. Negotiating the ring. You think he’s the one and he feels the same way about you, yet he still hasn’t popped the question. Now is the time for an honest conversation. Learn how to handle this conversation without giving a “marry me or else” ultimatum.

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My critique of Become Your Own Matchmaker

Your chances of finding love should improve with Patti Stanger’s dating advice

Become Your Own Matchmaker does a very thorough job in laying out the strategies for finding love. Much of the advice is reminiscent of the dating guide “The Rules” from many years ago, only updated for our high tech world.

One piece of advice some women might bristle at is the idea of dressing nice and putting on lipstick before leaving the house. I just think this is good advice for any woman, whether or not looking for a man, to present yourself to the world looking your best.

My favorite tips from the book are Patti’s suggestions for where to go to meet men. A lot of these ideas were new to me.

Although unique, my least favorite and strangest piece of advice is to hand out bio cards to guys you like. (A bio card is the size of a postcard with your picture on the front and your profile on the back.) I can’t even imagine doing that! It just seems too aggressive and frankly I don’t think it would work.

I recommend this book even though a few suggestions are questionable and her credibility does suffer a tad since she’s never been married herself. (Doctors often make the worst patients but that doesn’t mean they can’t help other people.) Overall her dating advice is sound and you’re sure to get some good ideas no matter how experienced you are at dating.

Looking for love online

Visit these links to find dates and get dating advice

The Millionaire’s Club. Did you know women can join Patti Stanger’s Millionaire’s Club for free? Visit her site to sign up.

Patti Knows. Patti Stanger has a blog where she gives advice on love, astrology, beauty and wellness. Matchmaker Patti Stanger found her current boyfriend on It’s the largest and I think the best free online dating site. All communication is free, no strings attached. What I really like about this site is that you can filter out people who don’t meet your criteria from contacting you. Check it out for yourself. This is an online dating advice blog by Brad Miller who found his wife on And now they have a baby! His mission is to help singles find true love. His advice will help you become more successful and comfortable with using online dating sites. He also has a free 100+ page online dating guide which you can get by signing up at his website.

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